I.
What it’s like
given a purpose
spandex over damp regions
something
in the form of support
to make one’s stance better
now bent down
with a straight back
smiling
I am holding myself
through way of layers
immaculate square footage
as to expose this as
the money they’re making
sleeveless design I feel
good about
the places they agitate
practice of apparel
I ready
the delight
fold by fold
where solid answer is given
in the dressing room
unminded exposure
both parties
and disappointment over
an ill-fitting top
what event
defines the weeks leading
how we
cannot keep
a thing
to oneself
an empty Evian bottle
incessant bleating
II.
These bodies are nothing
now
a hem raised
in the company of other women
I suppose
a new regime
ways to share their confidence
wholeheartedly
their comfort and safety
contours
guilt
subsides the addition
stimulating some market
bright lights, big
department store
it’s an energy
of dress
transmitting
to soften the blow
I take part
national pastimes
Visa, MasterCard, American Express
wool against
the skin indoors
I touch
a reassuring voice
on the other side
of the curtain
III.
There is a sense
of possibility
with the purchase
emerging our bodies
in jersey, cotton
visible forms
the flawless fit
between us girls
the dress
is entrusted
given itself to
be lived
through continuity
knitted threads
colors of flesh
folding and
unfolding
in time
it’s creation
without stages
just odd moments
a skirt
a gown
a pullover
the beauty
of a crease
where it should not be
so I fashion myself
in this
lime green, strapless
it’s how
I’m seen
Crystal Light
at the pool
laughing
all my friends
perfect
and strawberry-kiwi
IV.
To reach her
I get another
one of myself
this time more
relaxed posture
an ease of achievability
from the neck up
it’s quite simple, see
just your little
cultivar
a world opens
to the places
my slingbacks take me
welcoming and
bloody like I’ve always
supposed to have been there
like they
were made for me
and the site of wounding
invites us
doing our part since we do
we do need it
fluttering fabric between my thighs
this is what
heaven feels like this
is where everything starts
a piece that is passed down
telling us stories more
than a mother
she is more than
my mother’s mother
thinking the same way and
tied at the waist
seeing yourself become an heirloom
I can’t imagine
the ruffles alone
crossing me here
this too is a form
of worship
kindred spirits
waving a credit card
in the air
I am
making this our lineage
with the use of
her middle name
and marmalade
at the mall
a life vacant of God
she prays for me in White House Black Market
Aly Vander Hayden is a writer and performer living in Ridgewood, NY, where she is working on "Bright Lights, Big Department Store," a project on fashion, genealogy, and the intimacies of consumerism. In the past, Aly has published chapbooks about girlhood and gossip, such as "Just Us Girls" and "Summer of Love,” which is co-authored by Francesca DeMusz. Her work has also appeared in the Huffington Post, HOW MIC, The Front, and Oxygen, where she is a show content producer. She holds a BFA from Pratt Institute.